Text Lu Xun's stories : The Future Can Be Changed!

[darkchaser 788]

sad chapter cant wait to read the next part

[SoraKH 793]

AWESOME!!!! LOVE IT!!!

[wayfinder823 477]

Hey LuXun, your story is going great, and it has potential, but may I suggest something? Try writing more visually. You're telling the story as is, and it's hard to picture exactly what is going on in my head. Instead of telling us that Vera did not want to talk to anybody, show it through emotions and awkward silences. Instead of telling us that the aircraft arrived at the new planet safely, show us. (And by "show" I don't mean with picture, but a picture with words.) Use more metaphors and similes.

Other than that, your story seems right on track! Good job!

[keystrike 145]

Just read chapters 1 and 2.1 I'm really enjoying how the story is setting up. By that I mean everything that gets you thinking about what the next chapters will hold. Keep it up.

[Beta 102]

I sooooo need the next chapter *is very curious*

[rikunobodyxiii 700]

I'm definitely interested in seeing where this is going. The emotional element of this story is well done.

[Lu Xun 2,069]

Today I feel like writing a lot. This chapter is going to be a bit sad! And the action is about to start -- in the next, Chapter 3.3. Hope you enjoy this one. I'm enjoying so much to write this that I'll probably post 3.3 at night! Stay tuned and good reading!

 

Chapter 3.2 - Deceptions

 

After walking a lot, both of them finally arrived in the airport, where lots of people were waiting to finally get out of Earth. Vear saw Keyla, and screamed her name. Everyone started to look at both of them.

 

http-~~-//www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUklWjawYno&feature=related

“Keyla, what do you think you’re doing?” Vear said.

“Leaving you, and your beloved grandson. Freeing myself from you, that’s all.” Keyla replied.

“Stop with that. Come back with me, you can go tomorrow on the evening, if you want. But it’s too dangerous to go now, at night. What if an accident happens? If the airplane falls on the ground?” Vear said.

“Then you’ll be free from me forever. And so will I be from you. I’m sorry, but I’m not a fifteen-years old girl, sweetheart. I can take decisions, make whatever I want.” Keyla replied.

“Please... I know you’re not a little girl... But I’ve got a bad feeling about this.... Return with me! Let’s talk about everything with Jason... Are you just going to abandon him like that?” Vear asked.

“He prefer you. As long as you’re around, he’ll be fine. I’m tired of being with you two. I don’t know which role I have in this small family. But everything ends now.” Keyla replied.

 

Meanwhile, Jason had just woken up to drink a bottle of water, when he noticed he was alone. First, he checked Vear’s room, and saw that she was not there. Then, next he checked his mother’s room, and was even more worried, when he saw that there was nothing left in that room.

 

Then, he went to the living room, where he found Keyla’s note.

 

I’m tired of all of this. I’m truly sorry, Jason. But you’re better without me. Vear surely can take care of you. I simply want to live alone from now on... If you ever decide to go to the other Planet, then maybe we can end up meeting each other once again.

 

Mom, I’m sorry for being such a child -- There must be a reason for why I’ve not grown in all of these years. A normal adult wants to get out of their parent’s house as soon as possible, but I enjoyed my life of relaxing. But now I’m tired of it.

 

With tears on my eyes, I won’t say a Farewell, but just a “See you soon”, to both of you.

 

Hoping you’ll never forget me,

Keyla

 

A strong sadness took over Jason. He started to cry like a baby, but it was comprehensible that he was crying because his mom abandoned him without worrying about his future, and simply by letting a small note, she thinks everything would be fine.

 

Besides the sadness, Jason felt a terrible feeling -- like he felt that he was a terrible thing, not even loved by his own mother, he felt worse than garbage. He continued to cry for a long time. But then a question appeared on his mind “Where’s Vear?”.

 

As he was a very intelligent boy, he quickly thought that maybe his grandmother found out that Keyla was going to leave them like that, and went after her. But when she would return, and if she managed to bring Keyla back, it was still unknown for the sad Jason.

 

Back in the airport, the two of them continued to discuss.

 

“I’ll be gone, mom. I know you never wanted to have a daughter like me, but your wish will soon turn into reality. You simply need to use an eraser in all of this, and forget that I was born.” Keyla said.

“My daughter, I love you so much. How can you say something like that? You’re not perfect, not even I’m... No one is... Let’s go back. Jason must be desperate by now... He needs us. We are the only family he got left!” Vear replied.

“You are the only family he got left. I’m quitting this ‘job’. Being a mother isn’t for me, baby. I want to be free -- not have a son to take care of. I hope you two can live fine from now on.” Keyla replied.

 

Suddenly, a guard approached and asked what that mess was all about.

 

“What’s happening here?” the guard asked.

“Nothing... This old woman here is trying to force me to stay..” Keyla replied.

“I’m sorry, but you can’t force her to do anything. The government said that each human is the only one that can decide its fate -- if they want or not to leave Earth.” the guard replied.

“Actually, I’m her mother. Please, my beloved daughter, stay with me and your son.. We need you! Don’t go! At least not now. It’s dangerous to travel at night. I have a bad feeling about all of this. Please, for the love of God, you need to stay.” Vear replied.

“No, I’m not going to stay! I hate you. I hate you and your beloved grandson. You two are just idiots! I am tired of pretending to like you two. I’m going and no one is going to stop me. I hope to never see you again, momy.” Keyla said, and started to walk towards the airplane she was going to take.

“PLEASE, WAIT MY DAUGHTER!! DON’T GO!!!” Vear screamed and tried to go after her, but the guard forbid her from going any further.

 

http-~~-//www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Jo1iOJZRaI

[Sad, frightened by her daughter’s coldness and selfishness, Vear returned to her house, after being wet by the strong rain that started to fall as she started leaving the airport.

 

“Grandmother, where’s Keyla?” Jason said this with tears on his eyes.

“She’s left us alone. She is now going to the New Planet. I’m truly surprised by how she acted, though. I raised a monster. I must be an horrible mother as well. She said so many painful things to me...” Vear replied, with tears on her eyes as well.

“I can’t believe it... She seemed so nice recently.” Jason replied.

“She was just pretending. She wanted to get away without anyone following her. But I was very suspicious of her attitude. She was always mean and selfish, but I would have never guessed that she’d be like this.” Vear replied.

“That’s why I like you more than her. You’re my truly mother, Vear. I love you so much.” Jason said.

“Thank you! But that was one of the main reasons for why she left us. This love we’ve slowly created... She felt like I stole her son. I comprehend it... but she could have done more for you... When you were two years old, she practically left all the responsibility with me... We’re alone now.” Vear replied.

“She left this note...” Jason said and showed her the note.

 

Meanwhile, at the airplane, before they took off, Keyla heard a woman that worked there saying that if anything happens, there’s a special, mini transport, like an airplane, that can take only one person, but is ready to go to the New Planet. It was inside the airplane, but in a secret room.

[Hunter Hawk 392]

Very great story, my friend!!!

 

But I have kinda weird question. When you were describing how the world looks now ( deadly sunlight, wild animals, diseases... ) I kinda hardly imagine how people have jobs or how things like schools, banks or computers still exsist. Sorry if I'm messing with your story, but I just can't imagine how the whole story runs if Earth's like that.

 

But keep going either way I like it!

[SoraJustice 3]

I really like it ! I would say what I think about your story but I'm not too strong in english for explain my arguments x)

[Riku-Lover 2]

great story so sad but great http://kh13.com/forum/public/style_emoticons/default/dry.png

[Leaxel 178]

Sad chapter.. Nice music choices. Really liked it! Already know that next chapters gonna be good.

[Akihiko 1,628]

Very good and sad story. I don't want it to end any time soon

[replika13 455]

epic...

[SoraKH 793]

Nice music.. Sad chapter...The best! Keyla is soo mean!

[-Omaega- 629]

!!!!! Es muy divertido leer tus historias !!!!!

 

y buena musica

[Kirie 3,489]

me like music and me like story

[Anthony17 40]

Thank you all ^^ I'll post more tomorrow

 

 

Yeah, you're right. I should name this the Prologue or Something, but don't worry, the next chapter will be explaining a lot

 

The story is good, don't matter if it is a prologue at all.

[Sora's Baby 729]

*tear tear* Very sad, very sad.

[rikunobodyxiii 700]

*Sniff*

ooooo, secret door...

[Lt Ultima 82]

I GOTTA KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!! Theirs gotta be a reason why

Keyla would leave is it going to be one of those things wear someone thinks they want something then when they have it it turns out the person was happy with what they had already?

[Luna☆ 108]

Such a sad story but it's really awesome I love it keep going! http://kh13.com/forum/public/style_emoticons/default/happy.png

[deathnight55 26]

Encore encore. Please you should write more if you can. It's understandable if you can't thought. Coming up with ideas while dealing with things like school, family matters, and while getting good sleep and eating good. This story is the best story I have ever read. Don't ever stop writing.

[Lu Xun 2,069]

Gonna post more as soon as I can. Just returned from the other house

[Kinode 3,056]

I was finding it odd that there weren't any new chapters for a while!

[Luna☆ 108]

Okay!