Web
Analytics Made Easy - StatCounter
Jump to content
  • Sign Up
Lu Xun

Text Lu Xun's stories : The Future Can Be Changed!

Recommended Posts

Hey LuXun, your story is going great, and it has potential, but may I suggest something? Try writing more visually. You're telling the story as is, and it's hard to picture exactly what is going on in my head. Instead of telling us that Vera did not want to talk to anybody, show it through emotions and awkward silences. Instead of telling us that the aircraft arrived at the new planet safely, show us. (And by "show" I don't mean with picture, but a picture with words.) Use more metaphors and similes.

Other than that, your story seems right on track! Good job!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Very great story, my friend!!!

 

But I have kinda weird question. When you were describing how the world looks now ( deadly sunlight, wild animals, diseases... ) I kinda hardly imagine how people have jobs or how things like schools, banks or computers still exsist. Sorry if I'm messing with your story, but I just can't imagine how the whole story runs if Earth's like that.

 

But keep going either way I like it!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you all ^^ I'll post more tomorrow :)

 

 

Yeah, you're right. I should name this the Prologue or Something, but don't worry, the next chapter will be explaining a lot ;)

 

The story is good, don't matter if it is a prologue at all.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I GOTTA KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!! Theirs gotta be a reason why

Keyla would leave is it going to be one of those things wear someone thinks they want something then when they have it it turns out the person was happy with what they had already?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Encore encore. Please you should write more if you can. It's understandable if you can't thought. Coming up with ideas while dealing with things like school, family matters, and while getting good sleep and eating good. This story is the best story I have ever read. Don't ever stop writing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

×
×
  • Create New...