Lu Xun's stories : The Future Can Be Changed!
#21
Posted 04 January 2012 - 08:43 PM
#22
Posted 04 January 2012 - 08:49 PM
#23
Posted 04 January 2012 - 10:57 PM
#24
Posted 05 January 2012 - 07:20 AM
#25
Posted 05 January 2012 - 07:42 AM
#26
Posted 05 January 2012 - 08:02 AM
#27
Posted 05 January 2012 - 08:06 AM
Lu Xun, update soon because I want to read more of this. 8D
#28
Posted 05 January 2012 - 08:32 AM
#29
Posted 05 January 2012 - 09:47 AM
#30
Posted 05 January 2012 - 11:18 AM
#31
Posted 05 January 2012 - 12:19 PM
It'd make the story less like we're being told this by some person with vague memory and more like we're living in that moment. We also get more inside the characters. It's easier to identify with them and even develop opinions on them.
#32
Posted 05 January 2012 - 12:29 PM
#33
Posted 05 January 2012 - 12:51 PM
even when there was no dark gaia to destroy earth, this story blows my mind XD
LOL
Great story you have there, keep it up
#34
Posted 05 January 2012 - 02:27 PM
#35
Posted 05 January 2012 - 05:13 PM
Very interesting story, but you need to use some dialogue.
It'd make the story less like we're being told this by some person with vague memory and more like we're living in that moment. We also get more inside the characters. It's easier to identify with them and even develop opinions on them.
It read a lot like it was more an introduction than anything else, and that Xun had written it that way to set the scene and story before introducing the characters too much. And on that note, well I told you I would read it and I did =). It is good in concept so far, I look forward to reading what happens with the characters in a setting like this.
#36
Posted 05 January 2012 - 05:18 PM
#37
Posted 05 January 2012 - 05:53 PM
#38
Posted 05 January 2012 - 06:16 PM
#39
Posted 05 January 2012 - 07:09 PM
#40
Posted 05 January 2012 - 09:13 PM
Chapter 2.1 - Terrible Memories
“The planet recently discovered by Humanity had been named ‘Miteyp’. There was no special reference or anything -- it was merely a random name given to it. According to the few people that had already been to that planet, it was really big -- bigger than earth, almost did not have insects or animals that could represent danger to the Human kind, had a relatively good atmosphere, where people could easily breath normally and live a good life.
Still, firstly there were sent some people to build houses and hotels, so when people go to there, they would have somewhere to stay. It was still pretty rustic, but with time, eventually things would get better, and organized. Miteyp had some special flowers, which could change colors depending on the hour and weather, some never-seen before kind of animals, which represented a great advance for Biology.
But it also had a special powder, which was said to be able to make the person that finds it and touches it have magical powers. So, of course, as soon as people got there, it would be the first thing people would search for. It was hoped that now, in a new place, that resembled the old Earth, people would think before act -- unlike what they’ve done on Earth. Interests got the better of people, and that ended up turning the Planet that was home for Human for many ages into a dangerous, weird, and scary place.
The sun’s light was weaker than ever before. It looked like it was night even at 9:00am. But, sometimes, the sun’s light was so stronger that if a person looked directly to it, they would instantly stay blind.
Also, water was a really hard thing to find. What remained turned out to be very expensive, and only 5% of the population could afford it. Another reason for why lots of people were dying -- they did not have anything to drink. It was stated that Miteyp did not have water, but had a liquid that resembled it -- and the people that had been there loved it, and said that it was even better than water.
Only a small part of Miteyp had been explored yet, but by what they had seen, it seemed to be the perfect place for Humanity from now on. It was March 27th, and the first 500 hundred people to travel would go on April 2nd, and each day after it, more 500 thousand people would go until everyone who decided to abandon Earth finally arrived in this new planet.
We’ll be back shortly with more about how to protect yourself from the Sun.”
The small family composed by Jason, Keyla and Vear were together hearing all of this on the TV’s recent news, when Vear turned the TV off and decided to start the family’s discussion after what she had heard.
“I think... we should wait a bit more. I want to visit my family’s graves before departing -- if we do depart,” Vear said.
“But mom... Each day we spend here is another day we don’t know if we’ll survive... Please, be comprehensible, and just say “yes, so we can all go!,” Keyla replied.
“We can go on April 4th... What do you think? This gives you plenty of time to do everything you want.” Jason said.
“I’ll try to do everything I want before that day... but if I’m unsuccessful -- then you two go alone.” Vear replied.
“I’d never let you alone here, grandmother. I love you more than anything in this world!!” Jason said.
“If that’s your final word, then fine. If you don’t do anything by then, I’ll go alone. I only want to live more. If you want to risk your life each day, feel free to do so. But alone -- or with your beloved grandson.” Keyla replied before going to her room and locking the door.
It was easy to notice that Keyla was pretty jealous of the relationship that had grown between her son and her mother -- it was very painful to her to see that. That’s why she did not care much about both of them. With time, she turned into a cold, selfish person. But the only one that could be blamed for the creation of that relationship between Vear and Jason was herself.
In the past, Keyla was in love with a man, named Peysus, and they started to hang out when both of them were seventeen-years old. But, at the age of twenty-three, she got pregnant. Peysus firstly stood shocked when he discovered that -- and, disappeared for six months.
Keyla cried much during these six months -- only Vear and Rita, Vear’s mother and Keyla’s grandmother were the ones that helped her during this hard time. Then, Peysus appeared at her house.
“How have you been? How’s my little baby been?” he said.
“I’m very disappointed... What are you doing here?” she replied.
“I needed to check if you two are fine. Don’t worry, I’ll be here every Friday and Sunday, okay?” he replied.
“I don’t want to see you! GET AWAY!” she said.
“... For now. I’ll be back in two days -- on Friday. See ya. Stay fine.” he replied.
Vear was in her room, hearing the conversation. Then when she heard the door closing, she started to hear Keyla crying again, but this time she was also screaming. Then she immediately went to support her daughter.
“Calm down, Key. You can’t stay like this -- it’ll put in danger the life of the little boy that’s coming for us.” Vear said.
“But... I...” Keyla said.
“You need to forgive him. Really, if you want to have a happy family, then you need to forget these painful six months, and pretend it never happened. He’ll visit you twice a week, after all.” Vear said.
“I guess... you’re right.. The doctor said I can’t get stressed out or I can lose my baby... I’ll try to forget this -- but not because of Peysus, because of my little child here. Thanks, mom. Without you, I’d be nothing.” Keyla replied.
Two months later, she had the baby -- unfortunately, he had been premature. He was born one week before he should.
One year later, Peysus’s mother, named Dodo, went to Vear’s home, and gave a flower for her. She planted it, and Dodo started talking with her about Peysus.
“I’m so worried with Peysus... He’s been divided lately... I hope it all turns out fine.” Dodo said.
“Why? What do you mean by divided?” Vear asked.
“Eh, did I say ‘divided’? It’s... eh... because of the work and coming here to see Keyla and Jason. He’s been... tired... lately.” Dodo replied.
After that day, Vear stood thinking that maybe Peysus had another woman. And one year later, when Jason was only two-years old, she stood 99% sure of it. It was simply another ordinary night. Keyla and Peysus were together when they had a real bad discussion.
“Why do you only come here twice a week? What do you do in the rest of it? You have a son here! He needs more of your attention!” Keyla said.
“Actually, I was going to talk with you... I wanted a time to set things right with me...” Peysus said.
“Time? Is that so? I know exactly how that will be. You’ll abandon me and never come back again. I’ll save you from that.... It’s all over between us. Go away.” Keyla replied.
“But -- But --” Peysus said.
“But nothing. Go away. Now.” Keyla replied.
“Fine... I’ll come to see the little boy some times. Don’t be surprised if I come here without telling.” Peysus replied and left Keyla’s house.
After that, Keyla stood very disappointed with everything on her life -- she didn’t even get a job after that. It was like her life stopped at that time. So, the responsibility of creating Jason ended up going to Vear. Although they lived in the same house -- only the three of them, since Rita died when Jason was only seven months old.
-----------------------------------
Stay tuned for 2.2, where more memories will be shown. Not only from Keyla, though. Hope you enjoyed and can’t wait for more.
Sincerely,
Lu Xun















Daniel Chiuchiarelli